Here is the link to the rough draft of my essay:
Essay First Draft
Reflection on Essay:
So far in my essay, the most successful element is my description of the topic. In order to move along with my essay, I still need to incorporate copyright laws and how these can be rethought. I also need to incorporate elements of the remix culture as the concept of fair use.
3 comments:
Hullo, Alex!
Just got done reading your draft, and it looks really good. I like the word choices you used...I thought that they showed a reflection on the topic necessary for this kind of project. I tend to agree with your assertions about the author as an "unidentifiable entity", and I think that you tied in Focault and Barthes well into what you were saying.
I'm a stickler for grammar and punctuation, so that's normally the only thing I notice overly much in a rough draft...don't forget to keep your key words consistent, i.e. "firstly" and such.
*is reading a second time*
So, again, I really like how you've worded everything so far.
The main idea is that the multimedia author is an "unidentifiable entity" who "is everyone". The sub-ideas touch upon copyright and the various ways in which a multimedia author chooses to write.
There is evidence supporting these claims! Yay! You could include more references to Barthes and Focault in places, in order to even-out the two.
One part of the draft that I found confusing was the end of the thesis when you're asking the "wh-" questions--maybe use those same words throughout the draft.
I think that you could focus on more concrete ideas about the Twilight multimedia author--you have some really solid claims about multimedia authors in general, but maybe focus specifically on Twilight in order to tie that in with your topic more.
Good job! Good luck! And good draft!
Okay I love both your blog and your essay formats, they're respectively creative and professional. I think for the first draft, it moves along very well. so the goal is to define the multimedia author by answering the questions presented in your introductory paragraph? Your assertions follow nicely Who=dynamic anonymity, and you cite Foucault and Barthes from class to support, but maybe relate it to another website for additional evidence. Maybe discuss authorship intent as a factor in the definition of an author. Also, when transitioning between paragraphs, tack on the new ideas as the predicate for a sentence while the subject continues the old idea.
Honestly, I'm just picking at it because that was what I was told to do--you really have a nice draft going! I think this paper has clear direction and adheres to the thesis very well so far :D
Alex, your paper draft is great. You start off strong describing what your topic is about, and then just keep going from there. You have both ideas from lecture and some of your own research. The wording you use is pretty ideal, and it's really interesting.
Since he asked us to use transitional paragraphs, you may want to try linking each paragraph together. Otherwise, I really enjoyed reading your draft so far, and I think that if you continue the way you are, you'll have a great paper.
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